A (Not Very) Scientific Experiment

 

Sunday, August 5, 2012 – A (Not Very) Scientific Experiment

I did something really dumb just before bedtime last night:  I ate an energy bar.  I really wasn’t intending to eat the 190-calorie snack at that point in the day.  Really, I wasn’t.  But what choice did I have?  Once I had violated one of the cardinal rules of smart-eating (if you shouldn’t eat it, don’t leave it in sight), the outcome was inevitable.  So why did I keep this temptation, this “protein bar” (see photo below), in plain view, right on the kitchen island for nearly 12 hours?  Was I just testing my willpower? 

"After" photo of energy bar

I have no satisfactory answer, but the better question to ask is why this messenger of evil was in the house in the first place.  Somewhat ironically, it all goes back to my quest to stay healthy.  After my trip to the farmers’ market on Saturday morning, I dashed over to Lifetime for an ultra-quick workout.  I was in such a hurry to get in, work out, and get back to Elliott (yeah, he shares some of the blame), that I made a crucial error.  For the briefest of seconds, I glanced at the huge mound of free energy bars piled on the check-in counter.  The words “peanut butter” and “dark chocolate” jumped out at me.  Before my brain could issue an order to stop, one of the shiny wrapped treasures was in my hand. 

But I was good.  I didn’t eat it immediately.  I didn’t even eat it right after my workout.  I tossed it into my gym back, fully intending to throw it out when I got home.  Unfortunately, I was raised with the belief that it’s morally wrong to waste food.   Therefore, once I got home, I placed the energy bar, which was essentially a Reese’s stand-in, on the kitchen island so I could carefully examine the nutritional claims on the label before conquering my guilt and resigning it to the trash can.  That was my second mistake. 

I didn’t get around to “checking” on the ingredients and calorie count until after 9:30 last night, when Elliott was safely tucked into bed.  It was the time when evil forces often come out to play.  I’d been quietly Kindling, as I often do before getting ready for bed.  But then it was time to do my customary end-of-day walkaround, putting things away and turning off lights.  The energy bar was still lurking on the kitchen island.   As I walked past, my gaze fell on the silvery wrapper.  Once again, those words – dark chocolate and peanut butter – exerted their power.  I picked up the energy bar and held it in my hand. Another mistake, I now realize, because I decided to open the package and take a little nibble, just to see how awful something with really bad-for-you ingredients would taste.  Of course, I’d dispose of the rest of the bar in the trash.

Just one morsel, I told myself as the chocolate-PB combo filled my mouth and flooded my brain with pleasurable sensations.  Well, guess what?  I couldn’t throw it out, at least not yet.  The remainder of the bar found a home in a ziplock bag, which I placed back on the island.  Uh, oh, that was another mistake.  I went back to straightening up, but within a minute, my feet had taken me back to the kitchen and I found myself at the island again, looking at the energy bar longingly.  Rationalization began in earnest.  I would break off no more than an inch of the bar and save the rest for a post-workout treat tomorrow.  To assist in my resolve, after I guiltily gobbled down a crunchy chunk, I stuck the rest into my chocolate drawer.  (Yes, I have a chocolate drawer in my kitchen.  Don’t you?   Doesn’t everyone?) 

Now, even with the energy bar safely out of sight, the temptation was too great.  On my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I made detour (to do something as innocent as checking again to see if the back door was locked) and walked right past the chocolate drawer.  I paused.  I knew what was inside.  I reasoned:  Why should I keep torturing myself?  So, I opened the drawer, opened the bag, took one bite, then another bite, then another, and then – it was all gone.  Well, that was sensible, I thought.  At least I’d finally gotten rid of that bedeviled energy bar and I could go to bed. 

It never occurred to me at the time that an energy bar might actually energize me.  Something seemed a little strange, however, soon after my head touched the pillow.  I usually have no trouble falling asleep.  But last night, my mind was so active that I couldn’t shut it down.  First, I was planning the menu for Thursday’s lunch with Marie-Claude and Peter.  Mentally, I was running through a range of ideas for chilled soups, grain and bean salads, vegetable dishes, and more.  Then my thoughts turned to teaching, probably because of my meeting in less than 24 hours with the new AHS ESOL teacher who will be teaching “my” classes in the fall.  There was so much I wanted to share with her, not only all of the materials I’d developed, but my 20 years of knowledge and experience.  I began making mental lists of warm-up activities, reading strategies, note-taking ideas, ways to strengthen study skills, video clips I’d used.  This morphed into reflections on topics my students had especially enjoyed.  Before I knew what was going on, my mind had transported me back to the classroom.  After fascinating discussions of the industrialization and urbanization of the US in the late 19^th century, my students and I were watching immigrants enter through Ellis Island, we were struggling through the Great Depression, and then fighting World War II.  Eventually, before the landing on the moon in the summer of 1969, I managed to fall asleep.  

It’s Sunday morning now and I have some new insight into yesterday’s experience.  Last night’s mini-eating-binge wasn’t a personal failure.  I was merely participating in a scientific experiment of sorts.  From my noble sacrifice, I’ve gained important knowledge, proving this hypothesis:  Energy bars really work!