The New Normal

January 24, 2015 – The New Normal

The past couple of weeks have been some of the most challenging in recent memory.  Elliott’s condition seems to change from day to day and I’m constantly making adjustments to my schedule to accommodate his need for more and more attention.  Being on call 24/7 is stressful, and I’m trying to line up a support network for times when I won’t want to leave him unattended.  Right now, I’m able to get away for a few hours at a time.  My main refuges are the gym and the glass studio. 

Since he can’t do much (or doesn’t believe he can do much), he has become very frustrated.  On occasion, he expresses annoyance, resentment or even anger, especially when I come back from doing something for myself.  I try not to take his outbursts too personally.  He has a right to feel sorry for himself, but if he accuses me of not giving him enough attention, I refuse to feel guilty.  Sainthood is not in my future. 

As much as possible, I am maintaining the activities that keep me mentally and physically healthy.  At the same time, realizing that Elliott can’t get out as much, I’ll try to make his restricted world more interesting.  I’ll invite friends and family over to the house for lunch and dinner more often.  I’ll encourage neighbors to simply drop by for short visits.  I’ll get a larger screen television (Marshall’s suggestion) so he doesn’t have to sit right in front of the screen.  I’ve contacted a friend who’s trained in massage therapy to come and give Elliott a geriatric massage to ease his back pain.  Ideally, Elliott would like to resume his former lifestyle.  But, as he said to Joel on the phone today, “Mentally I’m fine, but physically I can’t do a damn thing.” 

I managed to lift his spirits temporarily with some Entenmann’s baked goods (a special request), as you can see in the photo below.  

Elliott with Entenmann's raspberry twist danish

Being Elliott, however, he still manages to get into trouble, especially when I’m not around.  One day this week, I came home from running errands to find him sitting calmly reading the newspaper at the table in the family room.  However, I immediately asked him why one leg of his pants was covered with large splotches of blood.  His explanation was pretty vague – he bumped into something in the garage a couple of hours ago.  Ignoring his lack of concern, I lifted his pants leg and peeled down the compression sock he was wearing.  Just what I feared:  an open wound on his shin.  Without the compression sock, the blood started flowing and, within seconds, there was a large puddle on the floor.  I switched into Nurse Robin mode, assembled all the necessary medical supplies, and bandaged Elliott up like an old pro.   I thought of telling him not to go down to the garage when he’s home alone, but it probably wouldn’t do any good.  He can manage to get into trouble anywhere, at anytime.      

The week ended with a gathering of The Elliott Fan Club at the home of neighbors Ellen and Michael.  Here’s a photo of the superstar and a few of his numerous female fans.  I’ve nicknamed them the Elli-ettes.  It’s a good thing their husbands aren’t jealous.  I suppose Elliott is one of those men whom women want to be with, and other men want to be like.  As soon as we got home from the exciting evening out, I had to connect him to his oxygen concentrator.  Today, he spent most of today in bed, recovering.  

Elliott and 3 Elli-ettes (Sue, Ellen and Anne)

I'm Elliott's biggest fan.

Elli-ette Tina and Elliott