More Ups and Downs

January 25, 2016 – More Ups and Downs

In the past twenty-four hours, there have been more changes in Elliott’s condition.  He sounded very good on Sunday morning when I spoke to him.  In fact, he told me that his nurse had mentioned the possibility of a discharge that very same day.  While I was delighted to hear of the improvement in Elliott’s health, this news sent me into a slight state of panic.  Our driveway wasn’t in terrible condition (it had been shoveled the previous day while the snow was still falling), but given the state of the snow-covered roads throughout the area, I wondered how I was ever going to get out to the hospital to pick him up.  Of course, we could arrange for a patient transport vehicle to bring him back home from the hospital.  But assuming they were able to get down our street, they’d have to toss Elliott over a 3-foot tall, 3-foot wide wall of snow when they reached our driveway. 

Of course I wanted Elliott to come home, but would the hospital really discharge him today?  Maybe he’d misunderstood the nurse, I thought, as I pulled on layers of warm clothing and snow gear – ski overalls I’d bought in our French village when we moved into our unheated house in the winter of 1984, waterproof boots that had belonged to Matt when he was in middle school.  I got my exercise for the day clearing the remaining layer of snow from the driveway and demolishing the Great Wall of Snow at the street.  An hour or so later, I staggered back into the house, sweaty and exhausted, but pleased with my accomplishment.

All seemed to be going well.  I’d be ready to welcome Elliott back home if he were discharged today.  However, a phone call from Elliott around 2 p.m. informed me that the entire situation had changed.  In a calm voice, he related how he had fainted a short time earlier and that there was evidence of intestinal bleeding.  Tests revealed a low platelet level in his blood, and he was going to receive another transfusion.  In addition, he was being transferred to a unit where he’d receive a higher level of care. 

We spoke again on the phone a couple of hours later.  He was in his new room and was already receiving a platelet transfusion.  Unfortunately, he wasn’t allowed to have anything to eat or drink.  Nevertheless, he was in good spirits, voicing his hope that he’d be able to come home soon, start exercising again, and begin his radiation treatments. 

Since then, I’ve had phone conversations with several of his doctors.  This type of intestinal bleeding sometimes stops on its own.  If not – well, we’ll just have to wait and see.  I spoke to Elliott again this morning, and he sounded optimistic about a positive outcome.  If travel conditions permit, I’ll be visiting him at some point today. 

Thanks to all of you for your continued love and support. 

It's a White-Out!

January 23, 2016 – It’s a White-Out! 

  

I’m sitting at home in a cozy pair of pink plaid flannel pajamas, looking out my windows at the swirling snow.  We already have at least 18 inches on the ground, and the snow is still falling.  Unlike my neighbors, I am not going out to start shoveling my driveway.  In fact, I have no plans to leave the comfort of my house.  I’m perfectly content to wait until our trusty snow removal crew appears, whenever that may be.  In the meantime, I have plenty of books, food and wine. 

Earlier in the week, as I listened to the weather forecasts for a major weekend snow storm, I was so worried about what we’d do if we lost power since Elliott’s oxygen concentrator runs on electricity.  As it turns out, there’s no need to worry.  You see, with his exquisite sense of timing, Elliott managed to get himself admitted to Fairfax Hospital shortly before the blizzard began.  Actually, his latest medical crisis started a few days ago, less than 12 hours after I posted my previous blog post.  Although he seemed to be feeling fine on Tuesday evening, he began experiencing sudden breathing difficulties shortly after he got up on Wednesday morning.  His blood oxygen level dipped frighteningly low and I couldn’t get it back to an acceptable level.  He was extremely agitated, and after consulting his primary care physician by phone, I had no choice but to call 911. 

Our wonderful Fairfax County EMTs took Elliott to Fairfax Hospital’s emergency room where he was diagnosed with pneumonia and congestive heart failure.  This development took us by surprise because we’d been monitoring his weight and fluid retention and had no indication that anything was amiss.  Fortunately, he was able to start intravenous antibiotics immediately, while we were waiting for all of the test results to come in.  Sitting there beside him in the ER, I had a feeling of déjà vu because this is the same scenario we faced last April.  This time, however, his overall health was more fragile to begin with.  We weren’t at all certain he’d be able to pull through this and we had some sobering and heart-rending talks over the course of the next few hours. 

Early in the afternoon that day, he was taken up to the Acute Pulmonary Unit.  When I left the hospital around 5 pm, I was drained emotionally and consumed by worry.  I fell asleep hoping I wouldn’t get a phone call from the hospital in the middle of the night.  As soon as I got up the next morning, I spoke to him on the phone.  Although his voice was very raspy, I was relieved to hear that he sounded better.  When I got over to the hospital, I found him looking and feeling much better than I expected.  He was still unable to eat and drink (only ice chips were allowed) and was hooked up to IVs and high-flow oxygen.  He told me that his pulmonologist had already been in to see him early on Thursday morning and gave him a very encouraging report.  While I was there, the cardiologist came to examine him and echoed the positive sentiments. 

On Friday, I got to the hospital before the anticipated blizzard began.  I was pleased to see that Elliott really looked and sounded like himself again.  However, he needed another blood transfusion on Friday afternoon to increase his red blood cell count.  Since I won’t be able to get to the hospital for a couple of days (it’s still snowing and it may be a while before the roads are cleared), we’re staying in touch by phone.  He’s eager to get moving again and was hoping for a visit from the physical therapist this weekend.  Of course, his radiation treatments, which were originally scheduled to begin next Monday, will be postponed for now.  All of his doctors are coordinating his care and we’re confident that he’ll be able to begin treatment in a week or two.  I still don’t know when he’ll be coming home. 

While this setback was a shock, I can only marvel at Elliott’s remarkable ability to overcome this latest challenge. 

We're Still Here!

January 19, 2016 – We’re Still Here!

I want to start by reassuring everyone that Elliott and I have not relocated to another planet.  We are still here, and expect to be here for quite some time.  I’ve been feeling too overwhelmed to keep up with the blog, but I’ve continued to put thoughts into words on scraps of paper which, until recently, were scattered around the house or stuffed into my purse.  Phrases seem to pop into my head when I’m waking up in the morning, or taking a shower, or driving along Route 50.  However, whenever I considered writing a post, I found that I lacked the ability to concentrate for a long enough period of time.  As I remember telling my students on numerous occasions, writing is hard work.  It takes a lot of time, effort, and focus – which I haven’t had lately.  Honestly, I’ve been so distracted that I haven’t accomplished much of anything, with the exception of reading – six books finished since the beginning of January. 

Since mid-December, Elliott and I have been dealing with a new reality.  First there was the waiting and imagining, and trying to avoid fantasizing about the worst possible scenario.  In addition, while we were waiting for more information about the tumor on his larynx, Elliott was facing a second medical problem, i.e. severe breathing difficulty that was robbing him of his energy and the ability to do more than lie in bed all day.  The reason for this drastic change in his condition remained a mystery.  

After several tests in late December and early January, we finally got some answers.  On January 6, blood tests showed that Elliott was suffering from severe anemia, which accounted for his shortness of breath.  In this type of anemia, his bone marrow wasn’t producing enough oxygen-carrying red blood cells.  The hematologist recommended a transfusion of two units of blood.  After Elliott received the transfusion in the hospital a week ago, he started to feel a significant improvement in his breathing and energy level.  In the future, he will probably receive injections of a hormone medication to stimulate the production of red blood cells. 

As for the tumor, the biopsy results came back on January 7, and they showed that it was indeed cancer.  We met with the radiation oncologist the day after Elliott’s blood transfusion and discussed various treatment options.  After careful consideration, Elliott chose to go ahead with a full course of radiation therapy, which will have about an 80% chance of completely curing the cancer. 

Last week, radiation therapists made Elliott a custom face and neck mask that he’ll use during his treatments.  Next Monday, January 25, he will start the six-week course of targeted radiation.  During that time, he’ll be going to Fairfax Hospital every weekday.  The possible side effects should be minimal, and include sore throat, skin irritation and fatigue.  He’ll also be receiving speech therapy services to ensure that the radiation to his throat doesn’t affect his ability to swallow properly. 

This week, before the daily radiation treatments begin, we’re enjoying a bit of a break from medical appointments.  In contrast to a few weeks ago, our mood now is quite hopeful.  Before we reached this point, the stress of the uncertainty, plus Elliott’s increased dependency, had turned me into a person I hardly recognized.  From one minute to the next, I could go from feeling numb to feeling on the verge of a meltdown.  There were some really dark times when I couldn’t help screaming – and then I felt so guilty afterwards.  Mostly, though, I built a self-protective bubble around myself to avoid acknowledging the fear and worry and the very real possibility of loss.  I guess it was a defense mechanism that allowed me to go through the motions of everyday activities without falling apart.  Now I’m feeling an enormous sense of relief as well as hope for a brighter future. 

Elliott shares this positive outlook.  He has faced innumerable challenges in his 103 years, and time after time, he has summoned the will and strength to tackle the obstacles in his path.  I have no doubt that he’s ready to face this latest test.  I’ll keep you posted on his progress in the coming days.