Quiet Time

August 9, 2016 – Quiet Time

I’ve put off writing for a while because it didn’t seem like anything very exciting was happening in my life.  But it turned out that extended quiet time was just what I needed after a somewhat hectic start to the summer.  I got a lot of reading done, including the following two books.  The first is On My Own, a memoir by Diane Rehm, the NPR talk show host.  Her story of life after the death of her husband contained much that I could relate to.  Another book of non-fiction, Elaine Sciolino’s The Only Street in Paris, transported me on a delightful visit to the rue des Martyrs.  I highly recommend both of these books.   

When I wasn’t reading, I was probably puzzling, i.e. working on a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle laid out on my dining room table.  It actually became an addictive activity.  Until I set the final piece in place, I was willing to forgo eating, sleeping, making phone calls, checking emails, etc.  It was actually scary to realize how strong and powerful an obsession it was.  When I finished, I vowed not to start another puzzle for a long, long time. 

Not all of my activities at home fell into the “fun” category.  I had to deal with a couple of home maintenance issues – problems with the dryer, the air conditioning system, and then problems with the dryer again.  The HVAC issue is resolved – can I impress you with my newly acquired knowledge of condensate blockages?  Elliott would have been proud of me.  Previously, these concerns fell into his domain.  Now, the responsibility is mine, and I’m feeling empowered by my success. 

Most days, the weather was so muggy that I was glad to stay inside.  However, I got out for short periods of time.  On a day when the heat and humidity weren’t too oppressive, I took my mother out for lunch. It had gotten to a point where I was starting to avoid seeing her because I found it so stressful to deal with her memory loss and dementia.  Maybe she actually realizes that she has memory problems.  On our way to the restaurant, every 10 or 15 seconds, she’d say, “Remind me again where we’re going?”  As soon as she finished a few bites of her lasagna, she switched to, “When are you taking me home?”  Instead of getting frustrated (which is pointless), I tried to retain a cheerful attitude and simply repeated the answer.  Physically, Katie is still in good shape so she’ll probably be around for quite a while.  I hope that my acceptance of her present condition will make the time I spend with her more pleasant.    

Katie at Osteria Marzano

I also went out one evening for a short educational program at the Smithsonian in DC.  The subject was rosé wines, and the program included tastings, of course.  I learned about methods of producing rosé, which grapes are used, the characteristics of rosés from different areas, and more.  There was no homework assigned, but I’m a conscientious student, so I’ll follow up on my own by trying more rosés this summer. 

Back at home, I made major headway with a clean-up of the office.  In the process, I encountered some hidden treasures.  On a crowded shelf, I came across a binder entitled Random Photographs and Elliott’s Words of Wisdom.  It seems to date back to 2008.  Since I don’t recollect helping him put this together, I can only assume that he did it entirely on his own.  And the timing of my discovery couldn’t be better because I’ve been devoting much of my time to working on the final section of Portrait of Elliott, a book about Elliott’s life. 

I wrote the original manuscript nearly ten years ago so I need to bring the story up to date before I self-publish it.  As you can imagine, reliving the events of the last year of his life is emotionally draining.  I made a big mistake this past Sunday evening by working on a particularly difficult phase portion of the story for a few hours right before bedtime.  When I got into bed, I couldn’t shut down my mind.  Although I tried all my meditation strategies, I couldn’t let go enough to fall asleep.  After a few hours, I surrendered to the compulsion to get up and put all of the thoughts swirling in my brain down on (virtual) paper.  I was so absorbed in my task that I had no sense of the hours passing.  It wasn’t until I pushed my chair back from the computer around 4:30 a.m. and saw the pile of crumpled tissues in the trash basket that I realized I’d been crying at the same time I’d been writing.  Even though I went back to bed, I didn’t manage to get any sleep.  As a result, I had a severe case of brain fog all day yesterday. 

Thank goodness I’m feeling more like myself this morning.  My quiet time is about to end:  Elisa and Sylvie are arriving later today for a short visit.  I know their presence will fill the house with activity and bring this recent period of self-absorption to an end.  In fact, they’ll be here in a few hours.  And Miss Sylvie is walking, so I must go and finish baby-proofing the house right away!