Food, Family, and Friendship

 

Wednesday, July 18, 2012 – Food, Family, and Friendship

The news about Elliott isn’t great.  He is still experiencing considerable pain in his lower back.  I wish the doctors could find a way to eliminate the near-constant pain, or to make it more manageable.  In my opinion, it’s time to go back and ask the pain doctor to increase the strength of the painkillers.  For some reason, Elliott seems hesitant to do this.  In the meantime, he does his stretching exercises and walks a little bit around the house.  With the daily heat advisories and air quality alerts, walking outside isn’t an option.  To keep busy (and to keep his mind off the pain), he’s back to one of his favorite hobbies, i.e. opening mystery boxes in the garage.  Today, while I was out visiting my mother, he discovered decanters, candleholders, and other treasures wrapped in decades-old newspaper.  It was show-and-tell time as soon as I got back home. 

As Elliott faces the prospect of life with more pain, we both have to make a conscious effort to keep our spirits up.  I admire his resolve not to sit back and let suffering define his existence.  While there is much that he can no longer do, he is determined to push his limits.  I sometimes worry that he is trying too hard and engages in activities that exacerbate his condition.  Of course, it’s also difficult for him to reconcile himself to his limitations and the loss of independence.  While I try to be patient and understanding, and to keep some balance in my life, I can’t help but suffer from the stress of my new role.  There’s an emotional burden to caregiving that I never fully understood before.  But it’s the new reality, and one that we’re still adjusting to.  In a sense, we are more fragile, and we must therefore try to be more gentle with each other. 

Well, onto happier subjects now.  Even though my birthday was last Saturday, I’m continuing to celebrate this week.  Thanks to my friend Judy, I enjoyed lunch at Seasons 52 in Tysons Corner on Tuesday.  And now that all of our neighbors are back from their travels, I’m getting ready for a multi-cultural extended birthday celebration Thursday evening at our house.  Anne (recently returned from Iceland) offered to make Icelandic fish stew, but that somehow morphed into chicken curry.  Pam will undoubtedly contribute some exotic hors d’oeuvres.  I just made a big pot of Soupe au Pistou (a Provençal vegetable soup) to start off the meal. The recipe, which is one of my favorites, is an oldie but goodie from Julia Child’s Mastering the Art of French Cooking, Volume I.  The salad will be an eclectic mixture of greens, fennel, goat cheese, walnuts and something a little sweet, maybe strawberries or dried cranberries.  Oh, and a birthday party requires a birthday cake, so I ordered a lemon mousse cake with raspberries from a wonderful bakery in Alexandria.  

I’m also looking forward to lunch out with AHS friends, past and present, at an Indian restaurant on Friday and at an Afghan restaurant on Saturday.   So, once again, this entry ends up being about food, family, and friendship, which isn’t a bad combination at all.