Our 30th Anniversary

Thursday, December 19, 2013 – Our 30^th Anniversary

Yesterday, we celebrated our 30^th anniversary with a quiet dinner at a local restaurant, Bazin’s on Church, in Vienna: butter lettuce salad and wolf fish (strange name, delicious fish) for me, creamy sweet potato soup and fried oysters for Elliott, and a crème brulée with two spoons for a shared dessert.  It was our first time at Bazin’s, and I look forward to a return visit.  

At Bazin's on Church

 So many moments from the past three decades still seem so real, it’s almost as if they happened yesterday.  Having this store of memories is one of the pleasures of growing older.  I remind myself of this as I contemplate new twinges in my wrist, the extra pounds I’ve magically gained, and skin that doesn’t fit quite as snugly as it used to.  Of course, then I can stand next to Elliott and immediately feel younger.  That’s one of the benefits of marriage to an older partner. 

But, a 30^th anniversary!  Thirty years is almost half my lifetime.  When we got married, we never thought so far into the future.  And somehow, it just happened.  Well, not exactly, of course.  Sometimes it took hard work to make it happen.  Looking back, I think that both of us were very stubborn, but in a good way, when it came to our marriage.  Maybe committed is a better word than stubborn.  We were both committed to making it last.  And it certainly keeps getting better and better.

Now, after thirty years together, the big question is:  will our marriage survive the stress of our kitchen remodeling project?   I have to admit that I’m pretty territorial when it comes to “my” kitchen.  Therefore, I was surprised to see that Elliott had such strong feelings about the kitchen design.  It’s true that he spends a couple of hours each morning in the kitchen – drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.  However, I am the one who does the menu planning, cooking, serving, cleaning up, etc.

Our first major disagreement focused on the issue of island vs. peninsula.  There were some very tense moments during our discussions, but I believe that issue has now been resolved in favor of the peninsula.  Then there’s cabinet color – stain or paint?  White, but which white? We keep meeting with designers and going to showrooms.  On Tuesday, we spent several hours at Ikea, using their online kitchen planning program.  (We also stopped in their restaurant so Elliott could indulge in one of his favorite meals, Swedish meatballs with lingonberry sauce.)  At the end of the day, it seemed like the more we saw, the more difficult the decision-making became.  If you’ve done any remodeling, I’m sure this sounds familiar.  

Elliott enjoying Swedish meatballs at Ikea

While I have plenty of ideas about what I want, Elliott is more concerned with practicalities related to construction.  He has used blue tape to map out on the floor the location of water lines and gas lines.  And while he has agreed that he will not do any of the actual labor himself, he plans to act as our general contractor.  Since this project will undoubtedly last through the winter months, Elliott will have plenty to keep him busy inside during the cold weather.  

I have a two-week break from subbing while Fairfax County schools are closed for winter break.  Classes at George Mason University don’t resume until the third week in January.  So I have some “extra” time, which I intend to put to good use.  First of all, I am getting more serious about staying fit.  Regular sessions with a trainer are a big help.  Secondly, I am tutoring another Bat Mitzvah student and preparing to do my own Torah reading in early January.  Next, I’m trying as many new restaurants as I can.  This is my alternative to overseas travel.  Fortunately, Winter Restaurant Week is coming up soon.  In addition, there’s cooking, especially comforting winter soups.  And I mustn’t overlook my winter “therapy,” i.e. doing jigsaw puzzles.  I find it very relaxing to work on these 500 or 1000 piece puzzles, but at the rate I’m going through them, it’s becoming a fairly expensive hobby.  

One of the many jigsaw puzzles I've done recently

We have lots of visits with family and friends planned for the next couple of weeks, assuming that Elliott stays healthy.  His bronchitis started to flare up a couple of days ago, and he’s now taking antibiotics.  Otherwise, we’re fine, very grateful for the past thirty years, and continuing to enjoy every day we have together.