Thoughts on Pain

January 28, 2012

Thoughts on Pain

As we age, our encounters with pain become more and more prominent in our lives.  There may be times when we’re relatively pain-free, but we knew that pain will return at some point so those painless times have a special sweetness.  Elliott is the first to admit that he’s been lucky as far as pain is concerned.  The pain related to the degeneration of his spine didn’t interfere with his life until he was in his late eighties.  And even when the pain became severe enough to limit his activities, he refused to let it color his outlook on life.  For the past year or so, it has been an almost constant companion.  However, there are still moments and even hours when the pain temporarily and inexplicably subsides.  For example, last night we went down the street to a little celebration (a birthday, a retirement, the weekend) with neighbors.  From 5:30 p.m. until 8:30 p.m., Elliott sat on a sofa, drinking Coca Cola and eating hors d’oeuvres, without any pain.  However, when he got up to leave, his back pain returned, and it was so intense that he got into bed as soon as we returned to the house.  There wasn’t anything we could do except hope that the next morning, the pain would be gone.  These cycles are something he will continue to live with, and they bring to mind some words of Karen Blixen, the 20^th century Danish writer whose pseudonym was Isak Dinesen.  Back during the 1980s, during the time we lived in France, I read a biography of Isak Dinesen – Isak Dinesen:  The Life of a Storyteller, by Judith Thurman.  I don’t remember too many details of this excellent book, but one phrase, about the cessation of pain, has stuck in my mind for all these years.  I actually went to the library and found a copy of the book a few days ago so I could find the exact reference.  According to Thurman, Karen Blixen called the cessation of pain the first of life’s three perfect joys.  I just hope that Elliott will experience more of this joy.